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Colors

on Oct 19, 2018

When we are born, everything is black and white.  Happy or sad.  Good or bad.  We quickly find red, too–the love of our parents–but the palette of a newborn is very basic and pure. As babies grow, explore and interact, more colors emerge.  The first smiles and giggles bring yellow for joy.  The outside world shines in sky blue, and the warmth of sunshine glows in orange.  First jealousy burns a vivid green.  The adoration of family is a royal purple.  The colors of infancy are primary, bright and simple. Young children gain an explosion of color with the emergence of curiosity and imagination. Instead of only red, there is a full spectrum from ballerina pink to angry crimson.  Blue ranges from the sheen of a bubble’s curve to the rich cool of the ocean. There is subtlety and shading giving a complexity to a child’s being.  It’s what gives them spark and...

Medium-Term Goals

on Jun 6, 2018

I met with a very cool speech therapist today who (among many other things, and in between me vomiting information at her as I am prone to do) asked me what our long-term goals are for Rory.  It kind of took me aback, because of course our long-term aspirational goals for Rory are for her to catch up to her peers with speech, mainstream in school and go on to live a perfectly normal life.  As I’ve been thinking about it though, I’ve come up with some more medium-term goals that I think are more attainable and I wanted to share them here: 1. I want Rory to become more of a “complete” person.  Right now she is very centered on what she wants or doesn’t want, and being happy or mad because she has or doesn’t have whatever the current desire is.  She doesn’t really care about anyone else but herself, which in some ways is typical for a young child,...

Ode to Irma

on Oct 4, 2017

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Palm

on Sep 14, 2015

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Woodcrest

on Aug 2, 2015

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Dear Carter at 5.5, Collin at 3.5 and Rory at 9/10 months,

on Apr 18, 2015

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Ten Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was a New Mama

on Oct 20, 2014

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The Push and Pull

on May 9, 2014

I type this post with one hand as Collin sleeps on my chest, Rory fidgets in my belly because Collin is squishing her, and Carter is begging for a snack.  (He just got himself some yogurt and I am reminded that independence is one of the benefits of his getting bigger.)  Just a snapshot of life lately.  At 36 weeks pregnant, we are on the verge of a huge life change and I think it’s pretty electric in the air that life as we know it is going to be capital-D Different.  And soon. Life is such a dichotomy right now. Sometimes it’s so hard I just want to scream, run and hide.  When the whining is incessant, the NEED is just so, so, so intense, and the anger swells inside my chest until it boils over and I find myself screaming like a lunatic and wondering who the heck I am.  But then other times it’s EASY.  When my guys are playing nicely together in their room, giggles...

Perfect

on Dec 9, 2013

Our family is far from perfect.  Our house is almost always a mess, I never dust my baseboards (or really, much else) and toys and random miscellany are constantly strewn across the floor no matter how many times I pick them up or yell at the boys to pick them up.  The laundry is going to come to life one of these days and take over my house because it’s really that out of control. I have two overflowing (clean) laundry baskets on the floor in our bedroom that I haven’t even attempted to put away for literally months (just living out of them), ditto for the boys’ room, and their clothes never even get folded when they do get put away (more often than mine), just dumped into their dressers–if it wrinkles too badly, it does not survive in this house.  My cooking skills are somewhat better than my housekeeping ones, but not much.  Glenn and I are picky, but in...

Here we go again!

on Oct 29, 2013

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Grateful

on Jul 22, 2013

My childhood best friend just lost her baby.  He was stillborn very far along in her pregnancy, and I was devastated to hear the news.  I keep thinking of the happy little girl she was when we were friends and how very sad she must be now.  It’s not fair.  These are the moments that make me wonder why such tragic things happen to good people.  I’m usually pretty good at rationalizing why things happen, because they make us stronger, because they lead to better things down the road.  But losing a child before you’ve even had the chance to know them.  Sigh. However, this also reminded me how very grateful I am for my life, my boys.  Grateful for each poopy diaper I change because it means Collin is here, and eating.  Grateful for every meltdown either of them has because it means they’re here, and they have opinions about life.  And of course grateful for the...

Popular

on Jul 21, 2013

Having small children has taught me what it must feel like to be the prom queen, student body president and head cheerleader rolled into one.  I am the most popular girl in the world in their eyes.  It can be oh-so overwhelming at times, but I hope it lasts as long as possible.

Time to grow another person?

on Jul 15, 2013

Tomorrow my Mirena IUD gets removed so we can try to get pregnant and grow another person for our family.  As an only child, I never even considered having a lot of children (I would have been fine with one, but Glenn wanted four so we compromised at two) but even with all of the challenges, the bad days, the meltdowns (both theirs and mine), the poop, and all of the other less savory parts of parenting, the love I feel for my kiddos is so strong that it outweighs all the bads and makes me think that I actually might be able to handle this whole being outnumbered thing.  On the bad days, I really consider my sanity for rocking the boat when it’s just starting to get a little bit easier…well easier in some ways, I guess…but on the good days, I’m excited to think about what that third child will be like.  Will we finally get a girl?  Or will it be another adorable...

5 Minute Friday: Present

on Jul 12, 2013

As a work-at-home mom, I often struggle with truly being present in my children’s lives.  It’s easy sometimes to turn on the television so they are occupied and get lost in a project that needs tending, or, often, Facebook status updates from people I don’t ever see in person and blog posts from people I’ve never even met.  I struggle with needing some time to myself to tune out all of the “mama, mama, mamas” I hear all day long.  The “I want a snacks,” the “I want to watch Blue Clues.”  Sometimes I just want to block it all out and make the time go faster. But the time is already going fast enough.  I see it in the extra inches Carter grew overnight.  In the floppy brown hair on Collin’s head that we just got cut that already needs tending again.  In the way they are starting to play and interact with each other in the...

5 Minute Friday: Beautiful

on Jul 5, 2013

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TVT

on Jun 29, 2013

As a work-at-home mom, I freely admit that my boys are fans of the television, or as we call it in our house–thanks to toddler Carter–the TVT.  (When I was little I called the cable box the Fraggle box–because that’s how I saw the Fraggles on TV–and my parents still call it that.  So I think cute names for electronics must be a family tradition.) When Carter was little, we watched Teletubbies and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse over and over and over again (seriously, I can still give you a plot summary of every Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episode, that’s how many times I’ve seen them!).  Since then I have seen every episode of WordWorld, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Yo Gabba Gabba, and we are working our way through Blues Clues. Collin, on the other hand, is a movie fanatic.  Some of his first words include Wall-E, Wah-dy (Woody), Buh (Buzz) from Toy...

Mamarazzi

on Jun 23, 2013

I take a lot of pictures.  Actually,  a lot is kind of an understatement, which became clear as I was reminded today that I’d completely filled up my 16GB iPhone’s storage capacity.  Ever since Carter was born, and later Collin, I’ve tried to capture all of the special memories, everyday activities and fleeting moments with my camera.  And once I got my iPhone, it became even easier to carry it around with me, so my habit became even more addictive.  Some of my friends make fun of me for being the one who’s constantly shooting our kiddos as they traverse the playground, splash in the spray park, and explore the museum, zoo or aquarium…their very own paparazzi (or mamarazzi).  But I know how fast they are growing up, and I don’t want to miss out on the chance to freeze these moments in time.  Because someday I won’t remember how bored we were on...

Mama Time

on Jun 11, 2013

Time in general, but especially time when you are staying at home with small children, or Mama Time, is a tricky thing.  It’s both your best friend and your worst enemy, going simultaneously too fast and too slow. One minute Carter is lying on the ottoman cooing at the ceiling fan, then I blink, and he’s writing his alphabet and reading words that no three year old should be able to pronounce. One second Collin is sleeping on my chest in the Baby Bjorn, then I blink again and he is drinking from a cup and trying to put on his own shoes. The months pass like those cartoon calendars that shed pages like confetti when they’re trying to segue from one time to another.  Like in the movie Notting Hill (does anyone else love that one like I do?) when Hugh Grant is walking down the street and the season changes from autumn to winter to spring while he strolls. Calendar time...

The Co-Sleeping Closet: Part 2

on Jul 10, 2012

Click here to read the Co-Sleeping Closet: Part 1 So where was I?  Oh yes, co-sleeping with one child in the bed and the other in my belly, wondering how on earth we were going to make this work once he came out.  We tried not to stress too much about it, because if Medium Boy had taught me one thing, it was that no matter how much I planned, he was really in control, not me.  But I was definitely worried about how Medium Boy was going to deal with becoming a big brother and sharing his Mama, and how on earth we were going to apply our parenting philosophies to two small children simultaneously. And sure enough, once Baby Boy came home from the hospital, our first few nights were full of tears, and not from Baby Boy.  All Medium Boy wanted at bedtime was his Mamaaaaaaaaaa, and of course his Mama was tied up taking care of the newborn who usually wanted to nurse for hours on end in the...

The Co-Sleeping Closet: Part 1

on Mar 30, 2012

Baby Boy stirs and I lean over to kiss him good morning. He looks at me and smiles a huge gummy smile, and we snuggle a little closer to start our day. I roll over and look at Medium Boy, his sandy hair splayed across his pillow, sleep still heavy on his features. If you’re following along you will note that I have two, yes two, children in our bed as we wake to start another day. I didn’t intentionally choose to follow an attachment parenting philosophy and I certainly didn’t intend to co-sleep with my children as I was finding my way as a parent.While pregnant, I’d read Babywise, a book that emphasizes routines for babies as a blueprint to get them to sleep though the night sooner, and thought it sounded like a great philosophy…great, that is, until I met my first son.He was intense from the start—collicky as a newborn and the world’s worst sleeper from day one.I take that back…he...