The Push and Pull

on May 9, 2014

I type this post with one hand as Collin sleeps on my chest, Rory fidgets in my belly because Collin is squishing her, and Carter is begging for a snack.  (He just got himself some yogurt and I am reminded that independence is one of the benefits of his getting bigger.)  Just a snapshot of life lately.  At 36 weeks pregnant, we are on the verge of a huge life change and I think it’s pretty electric in the air that life as we know it is going to be capital-D Different.  And soon. Life is such a dichotomy right now. Sometimes it’s so hard I just want to scream, run and hide.  When the whining is incessant, the NEED is just so, so, so intense, and the anger swells inside my chest until it boils over and I find myself screaming like a lunatic and wondering who the heck I am.  But then other times it’s EASY.  When my guys are playing nicely together in their room, giggles...


on Dec 9, 2013

Our family is far from perfect.  Our house is almost always a mess, I never dust my baseboards (or really, much else) and toys and random miscellany are constantly strewn across the floor no matter how many times I pick them up or yell at the boys to pick them up.  The laundry is going to come to life one of these days and take over my house because it’s really that out of control. I have two overflowing (clean) laundry baskets on the floor in our bedroom that I haven’t even attempted to put away for literally months (just living out of them), ditto for the boys’ room, and their clothes never even get folded when they do get put away (more often than mine), just dumped into their dressers–if it wrinkles too badly, it does not survive in this house.  My cooking skills are somewhat better than my housekeeping ones, but not much.  Glenn and I are picky, but in...

Here we go again!

on Oct 29, 2013

So it’s still a bit too early for any sort of formal announcement, but considering just how many people we’ve already spilled the beans to, it’s time to announce it here…I’m pregnant!  Yes, again.  Yes, it was on purpose.  And yes, I think we are a little bit crazy for thinking that we can handle 3 kids.  But let’s hope that we really can! I am 8.5 weeks now, and we got to see the new little one last week at our first sonogram.  It was so, so nice to see a heartbeat and know that for now at least, everything is looking good!   So that’s the good news.  The bad news?  Morning sickness is just horrendous this time around.  It started full-force at 5 weeks (it was 7 weeks for both of the boys) and it lasts pretty much allllllll daaaaaay looooong (it was late afternoon before it hit its peak before).  I am on Zofran and dabbling in Reglan to...


on Jul 22, 2013

My childhood best friend just lost her baby.  He was stillborn very far along in her pregnancy, and I was devastated to hear the news.  I keep thinking of the happy little girl she was when we were friends and how very sad she must be now.  It’s not fair.  These are the moments that make me wonder why such tragic things happen to good people.  I’m usually pretty good at rationalizing why things happen, because they make us stronger, because they lead to better things down the road.  But losing a child before you’ve even had the chance to know them.  Sigh. However, this also reminded me how very grateful I am for my life, my boys.  Grateful for each poopy diaper I change because it means Collin is here, and eating.  Grateful for every meltdown either of them has because it means they’re here, and they have opinions about life.  And of course grateful for the...


on Jul 21, 2013

Having small children has taught me what it must feel like to be the prom queen, student body president and head cheerleader rolled into one.  I am the most popular girl in the world in their eyes.  It can be oh-so overwhelming at times, but I hope it lasts as long as possible.

Time to grow another person?

on Jul 15, 2013

Tomorrow my Mirena IUD gets removed so we can try to get pregnant and grow another person for our family.  As an only child, I never even considered having a lot of children (I would have been fine with one, but Glenn wanted four so we compromised at two) but even with all of the challenges, the bad days, the meltdowns (both theirs and mine), the poop, and all of the other less savory parts of parenting, the love I feel for my kiddos is so strong that it outweighs all the bads and makes me think that I actually might be able to handle this whole being outnumbered thing.  On the bad days, I really consider my sanity for rocking the boat when it’s just starting to get a little bit easier…well easier in some ways, I guess…but on the good days, I’m excited to think about what that third child will be like.  Will we finally get a girl?  Or will it be another adorable...