The Push and Pull

on May 9, 2014

I type this post with one hand as Collin sleeps on my chest, Rory fidgets in my belly because Collin is squishing her, and Carter is begging for a snack.  (He just got himself some yogurt and I am reminded that independence is one of the benefits of his getting bigger.)  Just a snapshot of life lately.  At 36 weeks pregnant, we are on the verge of a huge life change and I think it’s pretty electric in the air that life as we know it is going to be capital-D Different.  And soon. Life is such a dichotomy right now. Sometimes it’s so hard I just want to scream, run and hide.  When the whining is incessant, the NEED is just so, so, so intense, and the anger swells inside my chest until it boils over and I find myself screaming like a lunatic and wondering who the heck I am.  But then other times it’s EASY.  When my guys are playing nicely together in their room, giggles...

24 Weeks Pregnant

on Feb 16, 2014

Since this is my third pregnancy, it’s really not all that surprising that this is my least documented one.  With Carter I had a whole pregnancy journal that sits on our bookshelf.  With Collin, I was pretty good at weekly blog updates.  But now, I’ve managed a few measly updates in 24 weeks of pregnancy.  Sorry, Rory! As it’s most likely my last pregnancy, I’m trying very hard to enjoy every bit of it. Despite being tired and sore, I really do enjoy this part of being pregnant.  My belly is fully “popped” so it’s pretty obvious I’m pregnant and not just chunky.  And I’m finally getting some of the delicious movement that I love so much.  My placenta is up front again, so the movement] hasn’t been as prolific as it was with Collin’s pregnancy, but I’m enjoying feeling the thumps and bumps and finally some little...

Dear Carter at 51 months, Collin at 28 months (and Rory at 21 weeks pregnant),

on Jan 25, 2014

Dear Boys, I had to stop and count on my fingers how many months old you are now in January 2014.  When you were little, this was a given, but once you started getting into the “teen-months” and then up over 2 years, it got harder and harder to keep track of just how many months had passed since you came into our lives.  Now I have a 4 year old and 2 year old, but for the purposes of these state of the union posts, it’s good to capture exactly how old you are at this moment. Carter, you are growing up so fast.  We have seen such a change in you these past few months as you’ve finally started mastering the independence we’ve encouraged you to find.  You started pre-school last August with pure hysterics for the first month and a half because you didn’t want me to leave you there.  Despite always having a great time and a smile on your face whenever I...


on Dec 9, 2013

Our family is far from perfect.  Our house is almost always a mess, I never dust my baseboards (or really, much else) and toys and random miscellany are constantly strewn across the floor no matter how many times I pick them up or yell at the boys to pick them up.  The laundry is going to come to life one of these days and take over my house because it’s really that out of control. I have two overflowing (clean) laundry baskets on the floor in our bedroom that I haven’t even attempted to put away for literally months (just living out of them), ditto for the boys’ room, and their clothes never even get folded when they do get put away (more often than mine), just dumped into their dressers–if it wrinkles too badly, it does not survive in this house.  My cooking skills are somewhat better than my housekeeping ones, but not much.  Glenn and I are picky, but in...

Here we go again!

on Oct 29, 2013

So it’s still a bit too early for any sort of formal announcement, but considering just how many people we’ve already spilled the beans to, it’s time to announce it here…I’m pregnant!  Yes, again.  Yes, it was on purpose.  And yes, I think we are a little bit crazy for thinking that we can handle 3 kids.  But let’s hope that we really can! I am 8.5 weeks now, and we got to see the new little one last week at our first sonogram.  It was so, so nice to see a heartbeat and know that for now at least, everything is looking good!   So that’s the good news.  The bad news?  Morning sickness is just horrendous this time around.  It started full-force at 5 weeks (it was 7 weeks for both of the boys) and it lasts pretty much allllllll daaaaaay looooong (it was late afternoon before it hit its peak before).  I am on Zofran and dabbling in Reglan to...

Dear Collin at 22.5 Months

on Jul 26, 2013

Dear Collin, 22.5 months may not seem like an important milestone to mark, but it’s the age Carter was the day you were born and this time around it just so happens to be the same time we started trying to have your future brother or sister.  It amazes me when I look back at little Carter and how big I thought he was at this age, then look at you, my baby, for whom I’m unwilling to mentally flip the page from baby to boy.  (Don’t worry, I’ll get there eventually.) It’s so special to watch your personality develop as you find your voice and choose your words. Speaking of words, your favorites are:  NOOOOOO!  MINNNNNE!  STOOOOOOOP! and MEEEEEEEE!  Which goes to show that you are most certainly a toddler now, and entering into those perilous terrible twos.  After months and months of the mellow boy, you’ve decided that it’s time to stand up for...


on Jul 22, 2013

My childhood best friend just lost her baby.  He was stillborn very far along in her pregnancy, and I was devastated to hear the news.  I keep thinking of the happy little girl she was when we were friends and how very sad she must be now.  It’s not fair.  These are the moments that make me wonder why such tragic things happen to good people.  I’m usually pretty good at rationalizing why things happen, because they make us stronger, because they lead to better things down the road.  But losing a child before you’ve even had the chance to know them.  Sigh. However, this also reminded me how very grateful I am for my life, my boys.  Grateful for each poopy diaper I change because it means Collin is here, and eating.  Grateful for every meltdown either of them has because it means they’re here, and they have opinions about life.  And of course grateful for the...


on Jul 21, 2013

Having small children has taught me what it must feel like to be the prom queen, student body president and head cheerleader rolled into one.  I am the most popular girl in the world in their eyes.  It can be oh-so overwhelming at times, but I hope it lasts as long as possible.