Facebook

Acceptance

on Jun 19, 2013

I’ve never been big on self confidence.  First it was the glasses, then the braces, then puberty and the pimples and big hips that came along with it, and oh yeah, the boobs that didn’t get anywhere near as big as a girl and society in general hope they will be.  I’ve always compared my body to my friends’, most of them beautiful and skinny, with sidelong glances…which while I don’t resent them for their beauty, I couldn’t help but wish my exterior was a little more that and a little less this.  In fact, for the first four years we were dating, I wouldn’t even let Glenn see me wearing my glasses…I insisted on putting my contacts in before I would let him see me.  That’s one insecure little girl, folks. And I grew up before the advent of social media and cyberbullying, sheesh. I wish I could say all of that has changed.  That I...

Mama Time

on Jun 11, 2013

Time in general, but especially time when you are staying at home with small children, or Mama Time, is a tricky thing.  It’s both your best friend and your worst enemy, going simultaneously too fast and too slow. One minute Carter is lying on the ottoman cooing at the ceiling fan, then I blink, and he’s writing his alphabet and reading words that no three year old should be able to pronounce. One second Collin is sleeping on my chest in the Baby Bjorn, then I blink again and he is drinking from a cup and trying to put on his own shoes. The months pass like those cartoon calendars that shed pages like confetti when they’re trying to segue from one time to another.  Like in the movie Notting Hill (does anyone else love that one like I do?) when Hugh Grant is walking down the street and the season changes from autumn to winter to spring while he strolls. Calendar time...

Dear Collin at 18 Months

on Mar 14, 2013

Dear Collin, When I was pregnant with you, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like having two children.  Your Auntie Lauren told me that the moment I first saw you, my heart would double in size, and she was so right!  I instantly fell in love with your squishy face, your dark hair (just like mine) and your sweet nature.   Having you, my second baby, was so different from when I first had your brother.  I knew what I was doing this time around.  I was calmer, which I think made me a better mother.  Carter may have gotten more of my undivided attention as a baby, but you benefitted from my experience, your Dada’s experience, and from having your brother around, too.  (Though I do give YOU most of the credit for your easygoing nature.)  Having you around as a newborn was never a struggle, and you were just so content as a baby.  You loved tagging along with me in the Baby...

The Co-Sleeping Closet: Part 2

on Jul 10, 2012

Click here to read the Co-Sleeping Closet: Part 1 So where was I?  Oh yes, co-sleeping with one child in the bed and the other in my belly, wondering how on earth we were going to make this work once he came out.  We tried not to stress too much about it, because if Medium Boy had taught me one thing, it was that no matter how much I planned, he was really in control, not me.  But I was definitely worried about how Medium Boy was going to deal with becoming a big brother and sharing his Mama, and how on earth we were going to apply our parenting philosophies to two small children simultaneously. And sure enough, once Baby Boy came home from the hospital, our first few nights were full of tears, and not from Baby Boy.  All Medium Boy wanted at bedtime was his Mamaaaaaaaaaa, and of course his Mama was tied up taking care of the newborn who usually wanted to nurse for hours on end in the...

The Co-Sleeping Closet: Part 1

on Mar 30, 2012

Baby Boy stirs and I lean over to kiss him good morning. He looks at me and smiles a huge gummy smile, and we snuggle a little closer to start our day. I roll over and look at Medium Boy, his sandy hair splayed across his pillow, sleep still heavy on his features. If you’re following along you will note that I have two, yes two, children in our bed as we wake to start another day. I didn’t intentionally choose to follow an attachment parenting philosophy and I certainly didn’t intend to co-sleep with my children as I was finding my way as a parent.While pregnant, I’d read Babywise, a book that emphasizes routines for babies as a blueprint to get them to sleep though the night sooner, and thought it sounded like a great philosophy…great, that is, until I met my first son.He was intense from the start—collicky as a newborn and the world’s worst sleeper from day one.I take that back…he...

Tint Jeans

on Feb 1, 2012

Today I’m wearing one of my two treasured pairs of size 12 Tint jeans. When I first put them on many years ago, I had no idea how long they would remain my favorite jeans. When I bought them I was miserably unhappy at my last job, and I weighed the most I’ve ever weighed in my life (yes, that includes both pregnancies). I assume they fit me like normal jeans at that point, and I remember them being so comfortable that I went out and bought another pair in the exact same size and style so I would have two. When I quit my job and lost a lot of weight they grew looser and looser until they were eventually folded and put in the back of my closet, my “fat jeans” that I didn’t anticipate ever wearing again. But I just couldn’t get rid of them because I loved them so much. In December of 2008 I was pregnant for the first time, but literally days after...

Falling Asleep

on Jan 5, 2012

I don’t know if anyone is still reading this, but I want to start writing again, so here goes… I try to sing him to sleep without curling up with him anymore since he’s two now—my medium boy—but today at naptime he wants to cuddle. He slips his silky head under my arm and wiggles his way under until my arm snakes around his neck, my hand wrapping around his head and resting atop his ear. I breathe in the smell of little boy…a tiny whiff of shampoo mixed with undertones of sweat (but not in a gross boy-sweat way, but the sweet-sweat of toddlerhood). I turn my head slightly to look up at the ceiling, but a quick hand darts out and pulls my cheek back, where a little face is looking at me. He presses his little lips to mine, then turns his head back around on his pillow and shuts his eyes. “I love you, Carter,” I whisper. “I love you too, Mama,” he whispers back before...

Welcome to the world, Collin

on Sep 11, 2011

Warning:  This post is very long and graphic.  If you are squeamish, you might want to skip it! Collin’s birth started weeks ago, when I started having contractions at 34 weeks pregnant on the ride home from my parents’ house on July 30, 2011.  After having some back pain the week before and realizing that I’d already started dilating and effacing my cervix, it became a reality that our second son very well might be joining us a bit earlier than we planned.  And quite honestly that terrified me!  Thankfully the contractions stopped that evening before it became necessary to go to the hospital, but at the time, I didn’t know I would make it as long as I did, which was so scary.  Everything with Carter’s pregnancy had been so textbook and simple that it never occurred to me that everything wouldn’t be the same for his little brother, and I was terrified that he would be born early and...

37 Weeks Pregnant = FULL TERM!!

on Aug 20, 2011

Best Moment of the week: Making it to the 37 week mark today! I never thought I could be so proud of myself for being so lazy, but I have to keep reminding myself that I’m actually doing something very important by forcing myself to do nothing. When I started dilating and having contractions almost a month ago, I’d really prepared myself for having a preemie, and I was scared to death about it. But with each day that goes by, I’m grateful for Collin having that much more time to be prepared to face the world…whenever it is that he decides to come. Will we actually make it to September, after all? My doctor’s appointment this week was relatively uneventful since it’s perfectly normal for a 37 week pregnant woman to be where I am right now. I have progressed since last week…I’m now 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced, and his head is really low...

36 Weeks Pregnant

on Aug 13, 2011

Best Moment of the week: Amazing how even when I’m keeping the couch warm, I didn’t have time to blog last weekend. Or maybe it’s just because I’ve been too busy holding my breath! It’s amazing how quickly the weeks are flying by, even with nothing going on. I thought they would start to drag toward the end, but thankfully that’s not the case. Highlights over the past two weeks include my first baby sprinkle with my wonderful moms’ group, Modern Moms of Tampa. I was an hour late for it because my doctor’s appointment took forever (see below) but the ladies held out in the HOT park until I got there and it was so nice. We got all kinds of goodies including lots of diapers, wipes, bibs, and even a few handmade goodies…a cross-stitched bib and a crocheted hat. So sweet! I’m so lucky to have such a great group of moms as a support...

34 Weeks Pregnant

on Aug 2, 2011

Best Moment of the week: Hmmm…I won’t say this week has sucked completely because I am grateful for every day that I keep my little Collin in my belly, but it has certainly been a trying week. After being told I needed to take it easy at my last doctor’s appointment, I cleared my calendar quite a bit. We still did manage to get in a fun playdate with my moms’ group, where we got all of the current preggos together for a picture and dished on being pregnant while the kiddos played nicely. (I LOVE Carter’s new-found independence!) Thursday I had another doctor’s appointment and while again, she wasn’t planning on checking me, I made her check me, and then I watched her face grow concerned when she realized that my cervix had effaced 50% over the course of one week, and his head (previously breech) was already very low. While the word bedrest was...

33 Weeks Pregnant

on Jul 23, 2011

Best Moment of the week: Well, the week started out ok! My friend Amanda came over on Sunday with her sweet 7 month old, Ethan. Carter loved “baby Efan” and not only doted on him, but also didn’t freak out when Mama held him. This is the third baby we’ve successfully avoided a meltdown with, phew! Let’s just hope he does this well with his brother! We had a fun day on Tuesday, going to the aquarium with the Wesley Chapel Moms’ Group, then having the Hansard family over to our/their house for a trip to the pool and pizza dinner. But then…. Epiphany of the week: I am officially not Superwoman. I think it was a combination of a lot of variables, but Wednesday my body rebelled against me, and as much as I’ve tried not to let my pregnancy slow me down, it turns out that I really need to slow down. From lifting Carter up and down a million...

31/32 Weeks Pregnant

on Jul 16, 2011

Best Moment of the week: 31: We had a fun trip up to Brooksville to “Clare’s house” (which Carter repeated all the way up there!) where my friend (and soon-to-be-tenant) Jen’s family is currently staying. Her daughter Clare and Carter have already gotten to be good buddies, and we also played with her son Jackson and the other Jen and her kiddos Noah and Jack. We also had a fun trip down to Bradenton to see my friends Lisa and Kori and the gaggle of kids between them, Celine, Donovan, Brendan, Charlotte and Holden. Carter, Brendan and Holden are within a few weeks of each other, and they’re finally at the point that they can all play “together,” kind of, at least! Best of all was Thursday, when we had our sonogram! When we first got there, Collin was flipped around backwards and we couldn’t get a good look at his face (though the reason...

30 Weeks Pregnant

on Jul 3, 2011

Best Moment of the week: We had a great week! We made more new friends on Monday with a “Jen and Kids” get together on Monday (there were three of us!), had a great time at the aquarium with Meg and Hunter on Wednesday, got to hang out with Auntie LeShayne and Carter’s “cousins” Tori and Tristan on Friday, then met the adorable Baby Fischer afterward…what a cutie pie, great job, Auntie Erin!! I think the best moment, and quite possibly the most scary one, was deciding to rent our house out yesterday. I think I mentioned Jen from California in my last post…she and her family decided after looking at some other places to rent ours instead. We had to take a bit of a “pay cut” to make it work, but I think it will be worth it to avoid dealing with a property manager and to have nice, normal (and really, wonderful!) people living in our...

29 Weeks Pregnant

on Jun 26, 2011

Best Moment of the Week: We made some new friends! I unofficially met Jen through one of my moms’ groups…she was moving here from California and had some questions about the area, and I answered them for her, and we’ve been emailing back and forth ever since. Now it’s a few months later, and her family has arrived in the Sunshine State, so she and her sweet kiddos came over for a playdate. Jackson is 3.5 and was perfectly content watching “Myna Mo” on TV while the little ones played, and Clare is 22 months old so she and Carter had a blast! We always love making new friends. Epiphany of the week: My friend Sasha from one of my playgroups is pregnant, too, and she’s due in November with her second son. She just announced that she’s naming him Collin! We both got a good laugh out of our similar taste in names, so there will be TWO cute new...

Dear Carter at 20 Months

on Jun 19, 2011

Dear Carter, Wow, 20 months already?! My little guy is not so little anymore. You’re getting closer and closer to being a big brother, and thankfully you keep getting more and more ready with each passing month. I just wanted to take a few moments to capture you in all of your brilliance at 20 months. I know how easily I forget exactly when you did what (and a lot of this has been going on for a while) but I just wanted to document it here for posterity. 🙂 – You know most of the alphabet (still mix up a few letters here and there) and can identify most of the letters, match letters if there is more than one of a kind, and are starting to learn the alphabet song with me. – You can count 1 to 10 well, sometimes up to 20, and are starting to understand how to count things…you definitely understand when there are a few items, but get a little mixed up when there are...

28 Weeks Pregnant

on Jun 18, 2011

Best Moment of the week: A fun day out at the Aquarium with my moms’ group. I tried out Carter’s “leash” for the first time since he’s been so active lately and I was nervous about having to chase him around when I’m so pregnant. (I swore I would never be one of those parents who put a leash on their child, but there are a lot of things I said I would never do as a parent that I totally do now…those of you who don’t have kids yet will understand this concept much more when you have kids…it’s totally a survival mechanism…for me, and for Carter, too!) Not only did he tolerate the leash well (it’s actually a little tiger backpack he can wear and a strap clips on and lets me hang on to him) but he didn’t run away from me, either. He held my hand most of the time and I just kept the leash as a backup plan that I...

27 Weeks Pregnant

on Jun 11, 2011

Best Moment of the week: Fun playdate at Carter’s girlfriend Abby’s house with my Mommy friends on Wednesday, and lunch with my ex-coworkers yesterday…always nice to spend good times with friends! Epiphany of the week: By golly, I think I must have passed my glucose test! I should have had a call by Tuesday if there was anything amiss, so even if they took their time, I think I would have heard something by now. I thought about calling to ask, but nah, I’m just going to be happy about the lack of news! Entertaining question/comment/story of the week: All courtesy of the Munchkin… Carter had his first really good swear word this week, courtesy of Mama. I don’t even remember what inspired it now, but Glenn and Carter were going upstairs, and I was closing up downstairs for the night. I think I dropped something on my toe, or stubbed my toe, or...

26 Weeks Pregnant

on Jun 4, 2011

Best Moment of the week: Feeling Collin’s adorable little hiccups for the first time! I was sitting at the dinner table and thought he must be flailing around a lot since I was feeling a lot of movement, and when I put my hand on my belly, I realized that it was a predictable pattern and he just had the hiccups! He gets them a few times a day now, just like Carter did. Which means he will probably have them all the time once he’s out, too! He’s been moving a lot more in general, too, and I’ve been able to push back on his feet and have him actually kick me a few times, which is fun! Glenn has had a few “whoa!” moments watching the turbulence in my belly. Also, a pool party with my moms’ group was lot of fun yesterday, but it was flanked by one of Carter’s worst days of crankiness yet! I really, really, really hate teething…it turns...

25 Weeks Pregnant

on May 28, 2011

I really thought I was 26 weeks pregnant today…guess I’m getting ahead of myself! Best Moment of the week: We had a really nice and busy week! We had fun at Tori’s party on Sunday, had our first trip to the pool this year (which was fabulous!) on Monday, had a fun playdate with Meg and her son Hunter (a little younger than Carter, but they played really well together) on Wednesday, Grancy came home and was back at our house on Thursday, and we went to a yummy lunch at Cheesecake Factory with Auntie Lauren yesterday. Today we went to the Aquarium as our little 3.5-person family, then out to lunch and IKEA…spending time as a family is just so precious to me! Epiphany of the week: Wouldn’t really call it an epiphany, but I started registering this week. I made a list of the “stuff” we still need, which really isn’t much since we’re...